Just some random thoughts..

J and I are doing ok, just still trying to figure out what to do, where to live.. I feel bad that I didn't take him on a vacation this summer but we did get up to the cabin a few times.  It's relaxing for both of us. We had wanted to go up and see Cody & Laurie during Fall Break but I don't see that happening either... I want to see them so much, and my little Chelsea, but the timing is bad and I'm afraid to spend the money.

I've been selling off things a little at a time and putting the $ in an account to save for Walt's headstone. Who knew they were so darn expensive... I feel bad that I don't have one up yet, but I'm getting there. I could ask his family for help - but I don't want to go there - it's not something I feel comfortable doing. 

 Anyway, no decisions made on anything yet. I don't know if I'm just wishy-washy or afraid I'll make huge mistakes. Walt and I always made decisions together and I miss his input. I'm so stressed not knowing if I'm making the right choices on anything right now. I know we need to get out of this place - and it's not just the memories...  This depression has hit me hard. If I didn't have J here to keep me focused on things I don't know if I would even get up in the morning, or do anything for that matter, fix meals, clean the house, go anywhere. I put a happy face on but I don't think I'm really fooling anyone. I have a friend, Irene who lost her husband about the same time Walt passed away. We talk, but I think we bring each other down more than we build each other up.  Sorry about the whining, I just had to vent..  again. It's not like anyone reads my posts anyway, but sometimes it helps to write my feelings down.